Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The view from here...Pumping Conversations

I'm not sure if I am delirious from lack of sleep or what, but right now my pump is talking to me.

If you haven't experienced the joys of hiding in a closet and pumping throughout your work day, don't be alarmed. This will happen to you too. Assuming you are a woman who is planning on having a baby, and breast feeding, and going back to work...

It really is the strangest thing. One day my pump will be cheering me on - "lactate, lactate, lactate," -another day it is giving me decorating advice  -"black wall, black wall, black wall" - another it may be rushing me along - "let's go, let's go, let's go." I never really know which particular message I will get on any certain day. Sometimes it even swears at me.

On good days it's funny, on bad days it makes me hate pumping even more. I mean, who wants to be hooked up to a machine that extracts your bodily fluids? Every time I think about it, the image of a dairy cow flashes into my mind. Yes, I am comparing myself to a dairy cow.

At one point, before he was married and had kids, my brother-in-law shared a business plan, in which he would open up a bar where women would go and get paid to hook up to machines that expressed their milk. He would then sell that milk across the country. Now, women do just that...sell their breast milk. God bless those women who hook themselves up willingly.

Who in their right mind would want to pump? Seriously? I do it because I have no choice. Because I have to work, but also want to continue to breastfeed for all of the benefits for my child and myself. But choosing to do it more than is absolutely necessary? I don't think think so.

Clearly, I am now on a rant. I apologize. If you stuck with me through this, I hope I have made one thing perfectly clear: I. Hate. Pumping.

I have to go now, because my pump says so.

My lovely closet and sometimes supportive pump.

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