A Piece of Advice to Teenage Girls Everywhere

Although you may view me as old, it wasn't that long ago that I was a high school student. I remember the everyday struggle to fit in. To be part of THE group of the moment. I remember the insecurity in not knowing who was really my friend and who was talking behind my back. I remember the hurt when I found out what my "best" friend had said about me, or done. Or, when one of my closest friends failed to support me within said group.

I remember the struggle to figure out my own identity (a struggle I still find myself in at my "old" age). I remember how important the boyfriend was. Almost like the pass to stay in the group. A way to ensure that I would be invited to the right parties, hang out with the "right" friends, and keep my position in the group. The gossip, the drama, the emotional roller coaster of never feeling confidence in yourself or your relationships. I remember it all.

A month or so ago I ran into a girl who was a freshman, when I was a senior. I felt guilty that I didn't remember her., then she hit me with, "I remember you, you dated (fill in the blank)." I was immediately taken aback by this comment. The realization that I was THAT girl. The one who was remembered only as the girlfriend of a distant ex. Was dating some boy the only thing that I had done that was memorable in my four years of high school? How sad.

Please, don't let this happen to you. High school is a time to try out things, figure out who you are. Yes, the boys and being part of a group can be important too. (Although for most of you, those same boys and "friends" will not even be a blip on your radar in ten years...no matter how convinced you are right now that they are the most important thing.) But don't let them be the only thing.

Be friends with the people who support you, and will support you no matter what. Whose loyalty doesn't waiver depending on the whims of the group, or who you are dating at the time. Make sure you find at least one good friend. A life-long friend who will be there for you. . Don't be afraid to be who YOU are.

Imagine how much nicer it will be for you to be remembered as a nice person, a good friend, a great athlete or actor or leader in your school. Anything, really. Or, even better, all of these things. Try it all! Find what you love. But, please, don't let yourself be remembered solely as the girlfriend of that boy. You are more than the boy. If you are not careful, it will hurt when you are faced by this truth ten years later. Trust me.

Running after Baby: Excuses, excuses, excuses

Did you just hear Salma Hayek in Fools Rush In? Me too!

When anyone is doing anything that they don't necessarily always want to do, excuses are going to make an appearance. Sometimes the excuses win, sometimes they lose, but they always seem to come back again and again. Those excuses are seriously persistent little buggers.

Today I am going to share my top five excuses that sometimes win. I think many of these are common, some are not, but they can all be beaten, or at least worked around.

1. I don't have time

No shit! Who has any time these days? I probably DON'T have time there is ALWAYS something else I could/should be doing, but somehow I must make time. There HAS to be a way.

A way: Bring all three boys to a location with a treadmill (my mother's), give the older two snacks,  put the 2 year old in front of Curious George, make the 6 year old do his homework, and pray to God that the baby stays asleep for 30 minutes. Then run! Even if the baby does wake up, sometimes he cries for the last ten minutes or so when he is in the stroller so it is the same. Right? Right??

Of course you could go the traditional route of getting up earlier (I am NOT a morning person), running during your lunch hour (Ha! I am a teacher. I get 20 minutes IF the kids all move their butts when they are dismissed...which they don't), get a membership to a gym with child care (In my dreams), or running in the evening when your significant other gets home (it is pitch black when that happens for me and I live in the woods. So...no).

2. It is too cold out (for the baby)

Who are you kidding? If you think it is too cold for you, running will make you warmer. Layer up and stop whining.

If you are concerned about the baby and the thirty layers of onesies, and sweaters, and snowsuits, and blankets, and snugglies that they are undoubtedly bundled in, then see one of my indoor solutions above. No gym membership or access to a family member's treadmill? Find a mall that opens early and run there with all the old people walking. Or maybe a school will let you use their hallways after school.

3. I am too tired

Exercise is scientifically proven to give you more energy. Seriously. Look it up.

When I am faced with this one I usually tell myself that I will sleep more soundly and fall asleep more quickly if I am absolutely exhausted. Maybe I will even be so fast asleep that when one of the kids wakes up the Hubs will hear them first for once.

4. I'm just not "feeling" it

Seriously? This one has to be a non-excuse. And yet it wins sometimes. I have actually walked into my house less than five minutes after "going out for a run" uttering these words.

My solution to this one is telling myself I only have to run for ten minutes and then if I am still "not feeling it" I can stop. This usually works. If not, I have at least gotten a ten minute run in, which is a run. Winning!

5. I ate too much to run right now. I don't want to get a stomach ache

I know. This one is ridiculous. If I would just stop stuffing my face with whatever I can get my hands on because I forgot to eat at a normal time this one wouldn't happen. To this one I say, "Get outside and deal with it. Maybe if your stomach really hurts you won't let it happen again."

**And a bonus for all those breastfeeding mothers out there:
The breastfeeding excuse (Fare warning: this one can take multiple forms)
If I run my breast milk will decrease/there won't be enough for the baby/lactic acid and all that stuff

I actually fell prey to this one with my first two boys. I was seriously scared that running would hurt breastfeeding; something that I worked very hard to get going and plan to do for the first year.
Honestly, this one kept me from running for almost a year with my first son. By my second I ran a little after I knew that everything was okay (about 6 months) and still worried about it every time I ran.

I am not sure what the research or experts say about this one. The baby has not gotten upset at me yet. I try my best to plan accordingly as far as his feeding schedule goes. I make sure he has just eaten. Sometimes I pump right before, sometimes I don't. He has taken it all in stride. I don't think I run enough for the whole lactic acid build up in my body to effect my breast milk (I read something about this once). I don't know. It hasn't been a problem yet and every time I run and it is not a problem I worry about it less and less.

I guess the moral of this little excuse  is to take it slowly and see how it goes. You can always stop if something seems to be negatively effecting your breastfeeding. I'll let you know how it goes.

So, what are your top five excuses that allow you to not run? How often are they winning? Are there any solutions that you could pull out of your back pocket on those days where it would be easier to curl up on the couch and binge on old episodes of Gilmore Girls, Dexter, or Downton Abbey (There is a tv watching combo that tells you a lot about me!)?

Dispelling a New Home Myth

Too often I hear, "We are going to build a new home so that we don't have to worry about fixing anything." While this may be generally true, it is not always the rule. Case in point, here is a run down of how we spent our weekend:

1. Replacing the wax ring on one of the toilets because it was leaking slightly.
2. Cleaning the septic filter because water was backing up and causing the pressure relief valves to let water into our basement...after only two months of having a newly cleaned septic tank.
3. Attempting to repair the dishawasher that wasn't draining. (This one is still not fixed and will require a professional.)

These seem like little things, I know. But it is WAYYY more annoying to spend your weekend stuck at home doing these chores when you have a brand new house, and appliances, and are under the impression that everything is  new so you don't need to worry about it. If you buy an old house, you expect to be fixing things around the house, not so with a brand new build.

Yes, things are warrantied for the first year. If it breaks, your builder should come back and fix it for you. In the year we have lived here, we have had basement flooding from a number of different leaks having to do with well pumps and septic filter back-ups, pipes that weren't completely sealed, sink holes, walls replaced due to water damage, flooring issues, etc. but there are some things that are just easier, and quicker, to do yourself, even if it means sacrificing a perfectly beautiful weekend to get it done.  Frustrating? Yes!

The moral of the story is that just because you have a brand spanking new house doesn't mean you won't still be able to enjoy the general upkeep/annoying chores/"joys" of home ownership. :)

Running After Baby - Week 3: Running Mantras from a Little Blue Fish

My running mantra this week came from Dory, the little blue fish in Finding Nemo. As I was running I found myself singing, "just keep running, just keep running." Dory's version is about swimming, not running, but whatever. Honestly, I've found myself repeating this little mantra anytime I am feeling overwhelmed, or tired. It reminds me to keep putting one foot in front of the other (literally, when I am running).

http://pixar.wikia.com/Dory

I have been feeling a little discouraged about the fact that it is still a constant struggle to get running. I mean I am at week 3. WEEK 3! That magic week when a change in routine is supposed to be set. Honestly, I think I must take a few extra weeks to create a habit because this doesn't feel set.

I know that starting is the hardest part. It is the part of running that I hate the most. It is the most difficult mentally and physically, but it is something that you need to push through. Believe me, I have done it many, many times and it is worth it. I think. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

I know that there will come a time when running 3 or 4 miles will seem like nothing. A time when I will barely break a sweat, or register the pavement moving beneath me. It will be easy. But, unfortunately, that time is not this week. So I just keep plugging along, just keep swimming, in hopes that someday soon it will be easy again.

Advice
1. Just keep swimming (running)... whatever
2. It will get easier
3. Running or walking five minutes is better than nothing so get off your butt and get out there!

Miles run this week: 7.9
Days run: 3
Days walk: 2

Goals for next week:
I realize that since I am running more of the time, I am finishing more quickly. Less than twenty-five minutes of exercise a day just doesn't seem like enough for me. So, my goal for next week is to base my workouts on time instead of my route. I plan to go at least thirty minutes a day and see how far I get. If I feel good I will add a little more.

For getting started and other weeks check out:
Running After Baby - Week 2
Running after Baby - Week 1
Running after Baby - Let's Get it Started

Kitchen Planning? A Little Advice to Get You Started

Kitchens are a big deal! They are the heart of the home and can mean big bucks for resale, so they are not something to be taken lightly. When we were faced with planning our kitchen we were given an amount that our cabinets had to come in at, a few choices of granite, and basic choices like stainless steel sinks, one or two basins, etc. In some ways the fewer choices made it easier to finalize decisions, however, in other cases it was difficult to create the vision that we had in our head because our options were limited.

After seeing my options for granite, for example, I realized that I would prefer something a little different than every other house that that the builder had built. The builder agreed that if I could find granite in the same price range then we could use it without an upcharge. I spent hours looking at different types of granite; online, in the big orange and big blue stores, at local granite stores. Inevitably, I would find one that I LOVED and it would be WAYYYY over the budget. My ideas for work arounds such as putting butcher block on the island and then using the more expensive granite on the counters, were shot down either by the hubs or the builder.

Ultimately, I am okay with the granite. It works. I like it enough, but it doesn't completely meet my original vision. This is true for many of the elements of my kitchen (and the house in general). In some instances I wish I had put up more of a fight for the elements that I wanted because I am still regretting not having certain things (farmhouse sink) that would have given some character to the house. I think that if I had, my dream big list wouldn't be so big, and my "for home" and "dream home" Pinterest boards wouldn't be added to so frequently. I mean I just built a house, shouldn't I have made it my dream house when I had the chance. In a perfect world, yes. In the world of budgets and mortgages and time frames, I guess not.

If you are planning your dream kitchen, or just a new kitchen, here are some things that we did to help us plan, and some things that I wish we had done. I hope it helps!

1. Get inspired!
As far as I'm concerned Pinterest is the best thing to come along in a while. It makes searching for, and collecting inspiration SO much easier and it is important to have that inspiration in front of you when you are making decisions. It helps you and those around you (builders, spouses) stay focused on "the vision." Make sure to collect and share your inspirations!


2. Get some help
Find experts in your area to help you plan and to get advice. The big orange and big blue stores have planners who will work with you whether or not you ultimately decide to use their products. Bounce ideas off of friends whose style you admire or who have experience building or remodeling their own homes. 

3. Get an idea of how the plan will work in the space
We used painters tape to layout potential cabinet and island arrangements on the floor. It was easy to look at different options quickly.

I have also seen experts recommend using cardboard boxes for those of us who have less of an active imagination. It would help with scale and really seeing how the room would come together.

4. Tweak (not twerk...you can do that later in your kitchen if you want)

There will be things that just don't work together. If you really want that fancy busy mosaic backsplash, but have a lot going on in your granite, you may need to tweak slightly so that they work together. Maybe a simple white subway tile, or a toned down granite will work better together. Make sure that you look at everything together to see if they play nicely. If not, tweak. Also, sample paints are invaluable for trying out different colors. They are cheap and easier to see than little swatches. Use them! You can always use leftover paints for projects later.









5. Don't be afraid to ask for changes
Ultimately you will be the one who has to live in the space. If something kind of bothers you now, it will bother you a ton when you are living in the space. Now is the time to fix it! If your vision is not coming together and you feel that you need to tweak but don't say anything, you have no one to blame but yourself.

6. Ask for what you want
I know that the bottom line is always the budget (if it isn't, consider yourself lucky) but in the long run a farmhouse sink may only end up costing a dollar more (probably less) in your mortgage payment. So if you really want that farmhouse sink then get it! It will save you from regret, or a long "Dream Big" list less than a year after moving in. Trust me, I know.

7. Pay Close Attention to the Finished Product
If something doesn't seem quite right, or is not quite to your liking, say something! It is much, much easier to get builders to replace a chipped backsplash tile (for example) while they are there than trying to get them to come back. And believe me, if it doesn't get fixed that tile will stand up and scream, "look at me, look at me" every time you walk into that kitchen.

I hope those little tidbits help. My biggest regrets are not speaking up because I was afraid of appearing like a pain in the ass, and sacrificing those few pieces that would have given my home a little character for the sake of the budget.

Do you have any other pieces of advice to share? Any regrets that you have now that you are done with your build or remodel? Please share!

P.S. This is my 50th blog post! Crazy.